This is War

The blows keep coming and the bruises keep showing, but I can’t back down. No matter how defeated I feel, the Spirit in me is relentless. It is sometimes reckless in pursuit of the passions placed within my heart. But, it is also resilient.

I have been hit with the hardest of hurts within the past month. From being confronted with the greatest betrayal of trust which had been cultivated over the past 2 1/2 years with a situation I cannot begin to recount, to witnessing relapse in a woman I love and being physically and verbally abused by this friend I have laid down my life for. Getting a call at 5 a.m. that this same person was attacked and knocked in the face with a brick, and then myself and another woman I serve both contracting typhoid. It is all too much it seems.

I have spent many days with officers and local officials trying to investigate the assault and also accumulate more allies for this ministry, though some of these men have shown to be unworthy of trust because of corruption. I have had hard, truth-filled and grace-given conversations that insist upon immediate change which I have yet to witness. All of the progress I have been fighting for in opening a local shop for sustainability and opportunity now seems to have been placed on pause. And, to be very honest I feel I am working just to catch a breath in this war.

This is the hard reality of what you don’t always see. Yet, these are only the things which can be witnessed.


The hours on my knees in fervent prayer, the vomiting behind closed doors, the wounds and bruises that seem to have no known cause for appearing, the fear, the doubt, the worry of failure, and the tears that fall are never visible to anyone other than me.

Yet, I think it is time I am vulnerable enough to let you see it too.

This is war.

A fight I often feel I don’t have the strength to withstand any longer.

This is so much more than giving a hand-out or a hand-up. This is carrying another’s burden while they find the strength to stand. It is holding back the enemy when they have fallen down once again. It is fighting for movement forward when all you feel is a push back. It is standing firm in position when you have survived the attack.

Lives are on the line. Redemption is at risk. Healing is at the heart of moving past the hurts.

That is why I am here.

I can’t do it alone, it is too risky for me. Though I do know angel armies are claiming our victory.

So, I need you. I need your prayers and I need your faith. Join me on the frontline for there is too much at stake.

This is war.

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